Men are visual creatures and all women think they are not thin enough…

Here is the truth from a man’s perspective. Ladies, deal with it.

“I care about how her body looks. That may not be the most politically correct answer, but it’s true. Most men do. How her body looks isn’t a deal killer, but it’s damn important.”

Where the problems begin, is when women try to interpret what men like in a woman’s body. Here is what 1000 men of different ages said about their ideal female body:

  • Athletic and ripped, like Cameron Diaz: 8%
  • Super skinny, like Zoe Saldana: 2%
  • Fit but womanly, like Jennifer Lawrence: 34%
  • Very curvy, like Christina Hendricks: 18%
  • A fuller figure, like Melissa McCarthy: 3%
  • Cute and compact, like Rachel Bilson: 17%
  • I dig em all: 18%

And, here is a representative statement:

“I care about how she looks because the better she thinks she looks, the better she feels about herself. And the better she feels about herself, the better the odds that she’ll have sex with me.”

Of course, we all know that not a single woman is happy with her body. Not. A. Single. One. And this is where the real problems begin. When you are unhappy with your body you start attaching other character flaws to yourself, thinking that you are not worthy of your partner. Subconsciously, we women are programmed to think that if we are overweight we are also lazy, unsexy, stressed out, grumpy, frumpy, etc, etc. This attitude comes across loud and clear to the men we meet and it is more damaging to dating than the actual weight.

To tell you to lose weight before you date would be lazy dating advice. Yes, men do prefer thinner women, and many of them will simply not be attracted to you. But if you act like you are a flawed person with no confidence, then you will lose out on a significantly higher number of men.

Think deeply about how you really think about yourself and decide what is the “naked” truth. Are you unworthy and flawed as a person? If you are feeling this way, it means that you don’t like yourself (not just your body) and this is the reason you have trouble dating. Blame it on your weight all you want. When you peel back the layers, you will realise that the problem is that you don’t love yourself. Do you see the problem now?

Sure, lose the weight, but also love yourself for everything else you are.

Author of the Dream series for women, I love to help women find happiness.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store