Men love to talk about work, money, travel, sport, movies and other guy things, and all good wives and girlfriends will listen and even participate in the conversation. But what do we women like, truly like our guy to say to us. Here is a list to get you guys started, and it is guaranteed to make your woman so happy that she will be putty in your hands.

“If you want to talk, I am here (variation: “tell me what you are thinking”). When men hear the question “what are you thinking?” directed at them, they run and hide under a rock. When they come out, the answer is almost always: “nothing”. Women on the other hand are always looking for an opening to tell you exactly what they are thinking, and then they want to hear back what you are thinking. They want you to open up and get emotional in response to whatever they say. It is hard for guys to get into this sort of activity, but it is worth it, if you can bear it.

“You are right”. Nothing will make your woman happier and also stop any argument in its tracks, than for you to agree that she is right. You may as well say it early on, because you will say it eventually, just to stop her talking. The trick is to appear sincere and to say it after she has finished her sentence. She will be on to you if you say it too soon and have a smirk on your face.

“You are not fat”. I don’t think this needs much explanation. It is a simple rule. No matter what she is wearing you must never, ever, tell her she looks fat. She will try to trick you, she may even say: “this makes me look fat, doesn’t it?”. Don’t fall for it. Repeat after me: “No, you don’t look fat” or “how can you possibly look fat?”. If you are really dedicated and you can say it with a straight face, this will earn you lots of points: “How can anything make you look fat, you are so slim.”

“Tell me about your day”. Yes, you will be opening a can of worms and you may end up hearing in great detail what happened on a dull or average day, but it will be worth it. Many of us women think that this type of talk is “keeping the channels of communication open”, so sit back and listen. If you are really motivated and want to take this to the next level, ask relevant questions.

“Here is what I love about you”. For this to work you will need to get detailed and use examples. “The dress you wore the other day looked amazing, yellow is a great colour on you” or “I really appreciate how you treat my family. It was very nice of you to cook such an amazing dinner last Sunday”. In general, being appreciative of what she does for you is a sure way to get her to double her efforts to please you.

“I made plans for us”. This is a bonus one. Most men only make plans under duress, like on Valentine’s day. In a relationship it is women who do the planning and have control of the calendar. We mostly like it this way because we know that if we don’t, no plans will be made, and our social life will be zero. Imagine her delight if you actually make a decent plan and surprise her! Extra points if you actually consult the calendar and the plans you made do not clash with her other plans.

And here is one to really make her go crazy for you: “I was walking back from work and saw this [necklace, dress, bag, scarf etc] and I had to get it for you”. This only happens in the movies and no girl ever expects such a gesture to happen in real life. It can be anything and it does not have to be expensive. Bonus points if you get her something that she brought up in conversation, proving that you are actually listening. Wow, what an achievement this would be.

In conclusion being a good boyfriend is easy. Be a good listener, never call her fat, make the occasional plan and if you want to be extra good, buy her presents.

Author of the Dream series for women, I love to help women find happiness.

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