Not you! Don’t suffocate him. Being too needy is one of the top reasons I hear when it comes to breakups. It all starts well. The woman is not needy, she is playing the game competently. Keeping social media in check, phone calls and texts under control and still goes out on her weekly night out with the girls. Then slowly and inexorably her behaviour changes… The calls become daily, or hourly. If the texts are not returned, the woman unleashes a barrage of texts that makes the man think that she is unhinged. She needs him for everything, she asks him for everything. They must be together every day and every waking hour. If he dares to arrange going out with friends and she is not invited all hell breaks loose or she retaliates by giving him the silent treatment. Some women, blaming the time of the month, create scenes in public, whine over the tiniest of reasons and generally do their best to sabotage the relationship. When they succeed they wonder what happened. Well, I’ll tell you what happened, he started visualizing his future with you and he ran scared in the opposite direction.

You must work hard to pinpoint the turning point, when this happens and consciously stop yourself in your tracks. The subject of marriage should never, ever be brought up. In fact, if it does come up it will be for you to state that you do not want to get married. You are loving your life the way it is, and you do not want to settle down. What this does is quite magical…. The lion in your man wakes up and roars. Suddenly you are a prize to be won, a prey to be hunted and caught. He will not let this perfect woman get away. Your strategy should remain steadfast for the first several approaches. You must leave no doubt that you love him, and you want to be with him, but marriage? It is too drastic, too soon, etc. You get the idea. You ought to be unattainable in order to attain.

Again, it is a balance. You are not needy, but you love him. You are not a slut, but you are amazing in bed, you are not a tease, but you are popular with both sexes. You never whine, you never ask about the future, you never call or text him, unless it is a matter of absolute practical nature. And you never want to know what he is thinking. You bring him great food just as he is thinking that he may be hungry, you always look great, you never snap, you never say it’s nothing and then give him the silent treatment. You are my dear truly a female unicorn and he has to have you.

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Author of the Dream series for women, I love to help women find happiness.

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